Tuesday, September 20, 2011

What does love look like?

 So this is an old note I wrote on Facebook last year and just wanted to repost it. :)

So I have been struggling a lot lately on what it means when someone says "I love you." Is it really possible for them to tell you they love you one day and then a few days later tell you they don't "feel" like they love you anymore? Is that really the kind of love that God talks about in the Bible? No. I don't think Jesus decided to die on the cross for our sins because He just so happened to be in love with His people that day. You think Jesus really "felt" the love when he was getting beaten by the people that He came to the world to save? I seriously doubt it. And yet He still laid down His life for me just so that I can have eternal life in Heaven! " When Jesus saw us hopelessly enslaved to sin, he didn’t say, ‘I don’t feel like dying on a cross for them. I think I’ll wait until the feeling comes."That is true love. So....the questions still remain:Is real love based on feelings? and Is it real love when one day someone says "I love you" and the next they cant? My conclusion...NO!

In our culture today, love is all about feelings of mushy gooshy happiness with rainbows and bunnies and unicorns prancing around a field filled with colorful sunflowers. "I love you because of how you make me feel when I'm with you." "I love you because of all the things you have done for me." "I love you because of your personality." So what if one day the person that you love does something to hurt you or doesnt make you feel so great? Does that mean that you dont love them anymore because you dont have feelings anymore? To the world....yes but to God...no. I think many of us as Christians are getting sucked into the worlds tainted definition of love. We are often confusing having feelings of lust towards someone to feelings of love. Lust is selfish. Lust is directed towards ourselves. Lust is about getting and not about giving. God calls us to "Love each other as I have loved you." (John 15:12) 1 John says "This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another" God showed us His love by sending His only son to die on a cross and He definitely didn't do it because we are so awesome and deserve it. Romans 6:23 says "For the wages of sins is death..." Am I a sinner? Yes. Then do I deserve to go to heaven and have eternal life? No. But look at the second part of that verse "...but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Because of God's unfailing love, I can go to heaven! So going back to the first question: "Is true love based on feelings?" ummm....obviously not. "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) It doesnt say "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were so awesome and made Him feel so great He decided to love us." Nope...we are a sinful world that NEVER shows God that love that He deserves and yet....He STILL loves us. :) Actually I'm really grateful God's love for me is not based on feelings and what I do for Him because well....it probably wouldn't turn out so well.....

Now on to the next question.."Does true biblical love fade?" Read Psalm 136 and try and tell me that true love fades. Yes, feelings fade, emotions go away but the love that is talked about in the bible will NEVER go away. When God says "I love you" today, it means just as much when he says it tomorrow and the next day and 5000000 billion years from now. And are we not as Christians supposed to love as Christ loved us? "A new command I give to you: Love one another. As I have loved you, love one another." (John 13:34) So how is it possible for a Christian to say they truly love someone and then one day for that love to fade? Well sadly due to our own sinful nature we tend to forget the love that God has called us to have towards other people. We think since the feelings go away, we no longer love someone. I once read "There is no solution given for what to do when the emotion fails you and the warm fuzzies are gone-other than bailing out and starting over with someone else." But like I said, love isnt about feelings, its about commitment. 1 Corinthians 13 says "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love NEVER fails."  So is it true love when someone can say "I love you" one day and not love you the next? NO.

One of my new favorite songs is called "Arms Wide Open" by Misty Edwards. It is probably the best depiction of God's love. The lyrics are insane. :) 


  1. One of the things I know for certain is I LOVE YOU no matter what my incredible daughter!

  2. Brittany- I now your Dad, and he is a very good guy...on Love...best advice ever given on marriage at my parent's 30th wedding anniversary. My Dad said, 'I have loved this woman for more than 30 years and liked her for about 25 of them. There were days I didn't like her. Sometimes a week that I didn't like her. And maybe even a month...but, I always loved her. The like is here and now. But the love is forever. The like is the day to day little stuff and the love is the permanent big stuff.' I am hitting 12-years of marriage next weekend and I am so happy for that advice. It allows me to be mad as heck at my husband (and maybe even not like him at a moment), but in the long run allows me to still love him. We have our moments, but we are happy.

    Good on you for your exploration!